A PH.D IN PROCRASTINATION
When it comes to procrastination, I have a Ph.D. It is amazing how creative I can be when avoiding sitting down at my computer to work. I will happily do things (vacuum, mop the floor, fold laundry, clean the toilet, pick up dog poo in the backyard) to avoid…whatever it is I’m avoiding. The avoidance usually shows up around these four areas: writing, putting a plan on paper, accounting stuff, and reaching out to people who I have neglected.
Why? I have no idea. I feel GREAT once I’ve started any of these things. I love the process of writing! As a writer, when you’re in the flow it is like stepping out of time into a rainbow stream of sparkles and puppies. Who doesn’t want that?!
Putting a plan on paper? The “other” person who lives inside my head is often screaming, “Why do you have to put the damn thing on paper? What a waste of time. YOU know what you’re going to do so what’s the point?”
Accounting stuff? Unless you’re a Ph.D. in Accounting (Hello Dr. Kate!) or my fabulous accountant Luke and glorious bookkeeper Gina, who really loves accounting?
People. I think the people area is the toughest to face. I am damn lucky to have so many amazing, talented, warm-hearted, funny, and kind people in my life. I think about them more often than they know … and that is the problem. The “thought” doesn’t translate into “action” often enough. I know I’ve hurt people’s feelings by not responding to emails, texts, voicemails, smoke signals. The worst is when they feel compelled to send a note along the lines of, “Hey, you ok? Are you alive? Did I do something to offend you? I’m worried about you.” I hate that I make people worry or question if they have done something wrong.
While some may (rightly) argue to the contrary, I have gotten better. I’ve outlined this admittedly slow process, below.
Step 1 was admitting to myself I was a dreaded AVOIDER. It is easy to fool yourself into thinking otherwise. I get A LOT of stuff done. An impressive amount at times. It all feels rather productive, if I do say so myself. The problem? It isn’t the right stuff.
So, Step 2 is about being very clear about goals. I know what I want and what I’m working toward. And yes, you need to put that shit on paper. I used to tell my team, “If it isn’t on paper, it doesn’t exist.” I still remember their dirty looks.
Which leads me to Step 3, setting clear boundaries. The hard part about setting boundaries is that no matter what you do, someone is going to be pissed off, hurt, disappointed, sad, and all the other emotions, when you do this. Try to be understanding but stay strong.
Step 4, figure out what you really don’t like doing and find someone else to do it. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to hire and surround myself with people smarter than me who like to do stuff I don’t. Enter Luke and Gina. My books are in fine order, Uncle Sam is happy with my taxes, and my time can be spent focusing on other things.
When it comes to people, there is no Step 5. People aren’t a step. People are awesome. Nobody gets through life alone. We need each other. So, in this case I have to ask for forgiveness, and continue to try to do better every day. If I’ve haven’t returned your call, text, or email please know I care about you and even if it takes me longer than is polite, I will get back to you, eventually. Seriously…I’ve responded to emails over a year old. Should I win an award? Of course not. That behavior is shitty but it isn’t intentional. I promise.
So, what is it you would like to stop avoiding?
